Episode 96. Paralyzed by Self-Doubt? How to Take Action When You Don’t Know What’s Right
The Inner Briefing Podcast
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Episode Description:
How do you take action when you don’t know if you’re right?
In this episode of The Inner Briefing, Marie Groover explores the paralyzing fear of being wrong, imperfect, or misunderstood—and how that fear quietly keeps so many thoughtful, capable people stuck. As we gain more awareness, more information, and more nuance about the world, it can become harder to act at all. The pressure to be “right,” ethical, informed, and perfect can lead to stagnation, self-doubt, and playing small.
This conversation is for anyone who feels frozen by uncertainty, comparison, or the fear of getting it wrong—especially if you grew up around criticism, public shaming, or high expectations.
Marie breaks down why this fear lives in the nervous system (not a lack of confidence or competence) and shares 10 practical mindset shifts, gathered directly from her clients, to help you rebuild safety around showing up anyway. These shifts are designed to help you take action even when you feel unsure, imperfect, or afraid—and to learn how to trust yourself in the process.
In this episode, you’ll explore:
Why complexity and nuance can actually block action
How fear of being wrong is often rooted in past experiences, not present reality
What it really means to “do it scared”
How to stop overthinking and start moving again
Why self-trust is built through action, not certainty
Simple mindset reframes to help you speak, create, share, and decide without needing to be right
This episode isn’t about eliminating fear—it’s about learning how to take action alongside it.
If you’ve been waiting for clarity, confidence, or permission before moving forward, this is your reminder: the steps appear only after you take them.
Outline/Transcript:
Episode Summary
[INTRO]
How do I deal with the paralyzing fear that what I am doing is not right, or good, or the best? AKA how do I start to take action even when I know that that action isn’t going to be perfect, or when I don’t even know what the right action is?
Welcome to the Inner Briefing Podcast, where your job is no longer just a job – but a portal to the person that you deep-down really want to be. This podcast is for people who are ready to stop performing, and to start leading from within. I’m your host, Marie Groover, and let’s get into it.
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Life is complicated. It’s not black and white. It’s not all good or all bad. Just like people are not all good or all bad. Just like businesses or ideas or programs or causes are often not all good or all bad.
Industries and human experiences are nuanced, and grey. And often, the longer something or someone has been around, the more layers of complexity exist within it.
When we begin to open our eyes to the complexity and the layers of not-so-great that exist within our family lineages, our workplaces, our school systems, our entrepreneurial endeavors, the causes that we hold so near to our hearts, the organizations we donate to and volunteer for, the food we eat – we can get all consumed in the inner conflict of knowing what we didn’t know before and questioning if what we are contributing to is “right”. And by all consumed, I mean we can get really stuck.
Add to that, the maturing realization that we have very little (and by very little I mean zero) control over the affect of our words and actions on the world around us. We can sometimes have the best intentions and “do all the right things” and still catalyze negative or unintended impact or consequences.
Add to that, the exponentially growing number of data points and expertise that we have access to but are incapable of fully consuming and synthesizing before we speak, write, share, act, contribute.
Which again, can be really stagnating, confidence killing. These growing realizations can make it really easy to stick to status quo, to not show up as bigly or brightly or certainly as we could – but instead to do our best to “do our best” while going largely unnoticed.
Because going unnoticed feels safer than potentially being spotted imperfectly or worse, in the wrong. And if you have any experience either being publicly shamed or humiliated for being wrong, or if you have witnessed someone being publicly shamed or humiliated for being wrong, or if you grew up in a household with caregivers who were super critical (even only of others and not of you), your nervous system will actually feel paralyzed at the thought of being wrong or showing up imperfectly, anywhere or in any circumstance.
So the first step to answering this question is to acknowledge that you feel paralyzing fear at the thought of taking action that could be incorrect or perceived as wrong or imperfect. And to be kind to yourself for feeling this, to recognize the parts of you that feel this, but also the parts of you that judge or condemn this. And to allow both to be there.
And then to realize that the only way to release this fear is by rebuilding safety through the practice of showing up anyways. And you can start small. But the only way that this fear will go away, or your self-confidence in uncertainty will grow, is to relearn that it’s okay and safe to be wrong. That you’ve got your back. That being wrong is not going to kill you, or ruin your life, and that the stories that you tell yourself, no matter how real they real, are just stories that you tell yourself. And you can tell yourself new ones.
To prepare yourself to practice acting in the face of uncertainty, with the potential to be wrong or imperfect, you can try some of these mindset shifts, or new stories. Use these to build the required courage to show up, to speak up, to try again, to share, to experiment when you might be wrong or you’re not sure what’s right.
These are directly from my clients, because I thought it would be fun to ask my clients how they move through this fear into action.
Here we go:
Whatever you are about to say, do, create, decide – it probably matters a lot less than you think it does. In the grand scheme of the world, the people who inhabit it, the infinite decisions and actions made on a moment to moment basis, whatever you are about to say, do, create, decide, however you are about to show up, whatever you are afraid of, it’s not as significant as you think it is. So don’t overthink it. Just do it.
If you don’t try, you are stealing from yourself future progress and growth. I.e. if you don’t write the book, you’ll never get the opportunity to write an even better book, and then an even better book, etc. If you don’t start now, you are just stalling and stealing progress from yourself later.
Whatever you’re conceiving to bring to the world, you’re conceiving it because it is a gift for others. Don’t take that away.
Imagine that you are 95 and on your deathbed – what type of life do you want to look back on? One where you lived in preoccupation with right and wrong, where you took little action, where self-doubt and fear prevailed, or do you want to look back on a life speckled with experiences that grew you, taught you, molded you into an interesting character, allowed you to serve the world authentically and fully, leading a life that could have only been yours?
Keep your eyes on your own paper. Nothing will paralyze you more than comparison. When you feel stuck, re-orient yourself on yourself and focus on only your next right step – which is not the ultimate all-encompassing right step, it’s YOUR next best step. That’s the only one that matters and it’s the only one that will get you to where you are going.
Find all of the reasons why you must do whatever it is that you want to do. Justify the hell out of it. Build a case and argument for why what you are doing is right (not just for yourself, but for others) – even if it’s delusional.
Actually imagine the worst case scenario and visualize yourself getting through it. It’s probably not going to happen, but know that if it does, you already know what to do and you’ll be fine. Which is really similar to
Answer the question – what if you’re wrong? What if it isn’t perfect? What if no one cares? Don’t just get stuck in the question itself, but answer these questions and realize that the answers are not as scary as we make them out to be, when we are living only in the question.
Practice envisioning the reward to be greater than the risk, and make that reward feel inevitable
The steps appear only as you take them – you have to do it anyway, do it scared, do it wrong, however you need to do it, do it, so that you can receive the next set of instructions and keep moving. Plus, as you begin to follow the steps and see more steps appear along the way, you build trust. And then you can sink into that trust more and more. And then it just gets better and better.
OK, I’ve just delivered 10 mindset shifts that help you overcome the need to be right and the paralyzing fear of being wrong or showing up imperfectly. Test them out in moments of fear of self-doubt, pause, or even stagnation. Set yourself up to do or say or create the thing, and then talk yourself into it.
It’s okay to be afraid. I’m afraid all of the time. I am worried that I am wrong or that I’m not good enough, that there are more qualified people than me, that no one cares what I have to say, that it’s all pointless anyway, etc. etc. etc.
My clients, my friends, anyone I’ve ever talked to about this feels very similarly.
The truth is that we all experience this fear on some level, and that it’s not always about overcoming the fear – but about practicing being present and taking action anyways.
You’ve got this.
And if you have some mindset hacks to add to this list, please send them my way. I will add them to the episode transcript + notes so that others can try them on. I would love to hear from you how this episode landed and I would really really love if you gave us a 5 star rating wherever you are listening and if you shared this episode with someone you think would enjoy it.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. And until next time, this is The Inner Briefing with Marie Groover.
