Episode 21. To Stay or Go? The Inner Work That Makes the Choice Clear

The Inner Briefing Podcast

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Episode Description:

Torn between staying or leaving a relationship—or even a job, city, or lifestyle? In this episode, Marie reframes the question: before you jump, do the inner work that makes the decision clear. She shares why leaving too soon can cause us to repeat the same patterns, how to grow from within until the old shell no longer fits, and practical prompts to uncover what you actually desire beneath the surface of “I want a partner who…”

Learn how to:

• Distinguish surface growth from deep transformation

• Practice unconditional giving (to yourself and your partner)

• Ask for support in ways that expand you both

• Recognize when the answer is obvious—without guilt or confusion

If you’ve ever felt stuck on the “should I stay or should I go” teeter-totter, this episode will help you move toward clarity, confidence, and authentic self-led growth.

Transcript (RAW):

Marie Groover (00:03.596)

Hello and welcome to the Spiritual 9to5 podcast hosted by myself, Marie Gruver from The Corporate Psychic. This episode is about when to stay and when to go. For the first time I think ever, I dive into the teeter totter or conflict of staying or leaving in romantic relationships. If this episode resonates, I invite you to like it, to share it, and to follow along for more episodes to come.

Marie Groover (00:36.473)

be in the work now so that you can be ready for the goodness later. If I had to tagline this episode and some of the wisdom that has recently been pouring out of me, this is what I would say. So working in this industry, by this industry, mean personal development, spiritual development, career development, leadership development, there is a common storyline, a common theme of

I burned it all to the ground and I started over. I rose from the ashes. In this, people share about their massive shuttings into massive rebirth and growth. Things like leaving their jobs, marriages, relationships, life situations, homes, material possessions, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, and how that set the stage for a new beginning. And oftentimes this is very true. Whenever we...

see massive growth catalyzed, it feels like this big thing happens, a rupture or quantum leap, but often it's like the little things that lead up to the big things. But all we see is the big stuff, right? Like all we see is the divorce or the ending of the relationship or the leaving of the job or the migration away from the nine to five. So it makes sense that you all, that people would ask this question of when is the right time to let go of X? Because we all want that big

growth, right? We want the catalyzed transformation. And so we ask, when is the right time to let go of X? What even is X? And in this scenario, I mean, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your partner, your familial ties, your career, your lifestyle, your diet, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And I love this question. It's an excellent question that I really like to answer because I don't believe that stepping out is the only or even the best way

up or onward or forward. It is true that we evolve beyond many of the relationships, scenarios, lifestyles, people, places, work, etc. in our lives. And that there does often come a time to bow to honor to whatever shell we are currently in, and to step forward into something bigger, something more expansive, something more authentic to who we are and who we are becoming.

Marie Groover (03:04.418)

And if we consciously step out of something and consciously step into something new, even before we are ready or especially before we are ready, we actually risk repeating the same cycle of behavior, actually slowing our growth and expansion in some pretty deep ways. Now this seems contradictory or maybe against the grain, but an example would be, have you met the person who

does more personal development than anyone else you know, but like still isn't fully satisfied with their life or their self or the way in which they or others operate in the world. Are you that person? Yeah, so there is surface level personal development, which can be conscious and can only go so deep while it also goes vastly outward.

So it's the personal development work that we see on the outside at the surface level and sometimes goes a little bit deep, but maybe not all the way, right? And then there is the development that comes from inside of you that starts from inside of you. And it can be catalyzed externally by coaching or courses or group programs, but actually only requires you does not require anything or anyone outside of yourself. Now, if you're listening,

And if you have listened to any of my other episodes, you know already that I believe that purpose, fulfillment, joy, worth, success, all come from within. That is we start inward and we work our way outward. And this is where and how we connect with ourselves, with true happiness, with fulfillment, with deep self worth, with confidence, in joy.

I also believe that this is true and extends into our evolutionary process. And in that, to get the most out of our own evolution, expansion, growth as beings, our development, we start where we are, and then we work our way out. So when someone comes to me and says, I can't be authentic at work or in my relationship, I am restricted. I need to quit.

Marie Groover (05:26.869)

I need to break up with this person. I need to or I should walk away, et cetera, et It really peaks my curiosity. And again, sometimes we do need to walk away to grow. And, and, and much of the time I think to truly evolve at a deep level, we start where we are. Yes, in the job that restricts us.

in the relationship where we feel that we cannot express, in the situation that does not seem to be serving us or growing us or lifting us, because it is no one else's job to lift you up. And if you can lift yourself where you are, you are going to learn all the lessons that you need to, to fully complete the cycle that you are in.

And if you master the situation while you are in the situation, you'll never have to come back to it again. So then you'll move from small shell to one massive new shell that you can fully fill and receive from. Whereas if you just pop out of job into the next job, into the next thing, into the next school or class or relationship, into the next relationship or thing to thing to thing to whatever the thing is, you will also grow.

and expand, but it will be incremental each time. And it may or may not be at that deep level, but might look like, again, the person who does all the personal development in the world, but is still not fully satisfied. And you can do this in the quantum leap, it will come because you're still going to be learning and growing and expanding, but it might take years to manifest.

Now for some people this is the process and it is a beautiful cycle of experiences on so many levels I resonate with it. But if you start where you currently reside, you won't evolutionarily move in a way that causes any sort of conflict in your heart. What I mean is you won't be conflicted about whether or not to leave your partner, your career, your home, your state, your country, whatever. You'll move into the new shell.

Marie Groover (07:45.377)

your new way of being because you have literally expanded so far beyond the small shell that it just makes sense. It's no longer a question. The teeter totter is gone, right? It doesn't exist. So there are two things to talk about with this. The first is the general how, how do we grow and evolve in a situation or environment that feels like it's keeping us at a low frequency or pressing us down? And the second,

is where we get stuck when we go this route. Remember we work from within. When we do this, when we work from within, the outcomes naturally follow. When our internal environment has evolved, the external environment will reflect that. So in these two topics, I want to speak specifically to one particular type of scenario that I see a lot, romantic relationships. Because this is a question I get

a of questions on and until now I haven't really voiced wisdom, which is the same wisdom that I would use for non-romantic scenarios such as career by the way, that addresses this area. So here's a common scenario. I'm in the middle of a spiritual awakening and my partner doesn't get it. I don't think that they are going to get it. I don't know if this relationship is right for me or not anymore. I feel like I have outgrown this partnership or

Same scenario, but slightly different words. I wish my partner could see and understand what I'm going through and experiencing. I wish my partner were interested in the same things as me. It would be so amazing to have a partner who is also awakening or on the same path. I love this person deeply. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure that I can grow in this relationship the way that it is. I don't know that I can grow with this person anymore. Well.

That's a scenario by the way. That's not, I'm not talking about myself. Although I have been in this scenario before and you can just leave. You can and you'll figure it out. I have no doubt. And if you're listening right now, you already know if this is the right thing for you or not. If you're even in the situation, I'm not going to advise either way, but the opportunity if you stay is this, your relationship,

Marie Groover (10:09.537)

and the outcome of your relationship is external to your being. And it's also at the surface of what's really going on, AKA it's just the tip of the iceberg. If you focus on what you want on an external surface level and then try to strategize around it, you will likely fall short in the actual receival of what it is that you want. You'll miss the buck.

So when you are in this situation, ask yourself, what is it that you really want? Try to go beyond the external tangible material desires, AKA, I wanna partner that dot dot dot. That's not deep enough. That's too surface level, too external, too tangible. What's beneath that desire? Do you want to be seen and heard? Do you wanna be witnessed in your transformation? Do you wanna be understood? Do you want support?

What does support look like? Do you want validation? What does validation look like? What is it that you're desiring on the deepest level within your relationship? And even deeper than this, what is it that you are desiring on the deepest level within yourself? Very likely, whatever it is that you most deeply desire is not going to be in a direct conflict with being in partnership.

but occasionally it will be. I'm not gonna dive into this today or this particular scenario, but if it piques your interest, I will speak to this in another episode. Essentially, the human experience and relationships are not linear. And sometimes the thing that we want the most is to be alone or to grow in a way that can only be realized in solitude for periods of time in our lives. Usually it's not forever, but sometimes it is lifetimes.

Sometimes it's not, but even this, it's not something that necessarily needs to impede a partnership or rupture a partnership. And it's absolutely something that can be worked through if both parties are transparent and vulnerable and trusting and share openly, right? And so choose to do so. So when you know what you want and when you are clearer on what you want in your relationship, so let's say you desire to be fully seen and held

Marie Groover (12:35.361)

in your being or in your transformation, ask yourself, are you willing to give that unconditionally? AKA, without knowing that you will receive it back, are you willing to give that unconditionally both to yourself and to your partner? So if you desire to be fully seen, can you see yourself? If you desire to be fully seen, can you see fully?

your partner, the person that's in front of you, and then ask yourself, what do you need? What support do you need? What do you need to do in order to receive what you want? If you want to be seen, are you willing to step into yourself fully in order to be witnessed as you are? Are you willing to ask for what it is that you truly desire? Are you willing to ask for support?

in stepping forward into yourself or into whatever it is that you truly desire. Are you willing to give yourself grace and compassion when you stumble in your new way of being? Are you willing to give your partner grace and compassion for navigating your connection with each other in your new way of being? Are you even willing to be seen? Are you willing to see your partner or anyone outside of you? Start there. When you can step into yourself,

when you can embody your spiritual awakening and transformation, you will evolve regardless of who is in relationship to you and regardless of how they respond to you. That is your power. And those around you will either adapt and evolve and meet you and know not be and do and believe exactly what you believe, but they will hold the space that you are in in

presence and respect they might have to learn to do this, but they will or They will leave Sometimes in relationship. They will try to make you small Unconsciously or consciously because change and growth is scary AF So even in that scenario, how can you hold compassion for that and still give them what it is that you want to receive? How can you see them where they are?

Marie Groover (14:59.095)

How can you give them grace and give yourself grace and ask yourself, what is the most loving thing that I can do for myself right now? And sometimes that does mean to exit. But when you are in that place of deep love and connection with yourself and this deep love will echo out for your partner and those around you as well, you will know without a doubt whether or not you want to be in that relationship.

whether or not that relationship is or will serve you at your highest. But until you practice allowing yourself to be seen, until you practice knowing what you actually want and need and desire and allowing yourself to have it, even asking for it, even with the most spiritually awakened partner or human, even with the most...

relatable, similar person as you, you won't receive it. And if you can practice loving yourself and growing with yourself in your current state, if and when you are ready to shut it, you will. And when you're ready to receive the love that you so deeply desire from a partner that may or may not be your current partner, that completes the statement, I wanna partner that dot dot dot.

you'll actually know how to receive it and you won't miss it. Plus, the fruits of your inner work will reflect outwardly and it will echo out so far beyond your relationship, by the way. Now, sometimes we make this decision to stay because we do see this opportunity to grow within the scenario that we're in, but then we don't take the radical responsibility and accountability that's required for our own growth and expansion within the scenario.

This is where we get stuck. We get even more stuck if we see the opportunity to grow in a current relationship, not because we see the potential for ourselves to grow and evolve into love and evolve into higher self, but because we see the potential for our partner to. This will not expand us or our relationship because again, when we have that focus, that focus is external and the outcome is reliant on something outside of us.

Marie Groover (17:25.471)

So gently I remind you that transformative change, evolution, expansion, it starts from within. The things that you want to see outside of yourself must first be present inside of you. It already is actually. And you must become aware of it and water those inner seeds because when the internal is ready, the external will follow in relationship.

but also in career, in life, in work, in material, and intangible as well.

Marie Groover (18:02.185)

this episode resonated with you, please like, follow, share, comment. And I invite you to join the TCB community on Mighty Networks. You can find it at community.thecorppsychic.com. And I am so stoked to announce that there's both a monthly and a yearly subscription offering at like a super no brainer economical investment of $8 a month or $88 a year. You not only will be receiving behind the scenes discussion for this podcast, The Spiritual Nine to Five.

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and thank you for listening.