Episode 18. Fuck Branding, Be You: Authenticity and Belonging at Work

The Inner Briefing Podcast

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Marie Groover (00:03.554)

Hello and welcome to the Spiritual 9to5 podcast hosted by myself, Marie Groover from The Corporate Psychic. This episode is about sharing our true selves and the feeling of belonging in the workplace. In my opinion, it's about branding yourself or learning corporate speak, and it's especially not about conforming to who and what is around you. It's actually about practicing being intentionally who you are

and sharing that, despite the initial discomfort. If this episode resonates, I ask that you give it five stars on whatever platform you're streaming and that you share with someone that may be liberated by listening. Okay, let's get to it.

Marie Groover (00:53.388)

I noticed a funny pattern this week at Microsoft. If you follow me on social media, you know that I believe that you can be spiritual at work, that you can be your full self at work, that you can have a nine to five and build your dream life, including owning your flexibility and your boundaries. And you'll know that I believe that your job, your career, it should work for you and not the other way around. And yet many of us

fall into the other way around. We base entire lives off of our jobs. We even move closer to our jobs to cut the commute versus living where we want to. We flex and bend so much to make our work and our work lives work out. That we forget that the reason we are working is for us, for money, for the freedom that comes with money, for whatever it is that we value.

Anyways, I have generally not had the problem with being authentic at work in any of the places I've ever worked. I have not felt too much pressure to be a certain way or look a certain way or dress or act a certain way. I'm fortunate in that way. Though I did one time get feedback from a boss that my facial expressions need to be brought into check in executive meetings because someone once asked, can she handle being in this room? To which, by the way, I understood completely

and also rolled my eyes. Even when I joined Microsoft. So maybe you've heard in a previous episode that I came in as a part of a group of people in the Aspire program. This program is amazing. And in the weeks before joining, there are these trainings to start to prep you about maximizing your career, to get you pumped up to join, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And one of them was a training on branding yourself. I'm sharing this right now because I am so myself.

And I believe myself to be so infinite of a being with unlimited possibilities that I rebel against being put in a box or a container or a labeled space. I encourage others to rebel against it too. It doesn't feel expansive to me. It doesn't feel integrative or all inclusive. And you know that I am all about integration of all parts of self. Hello, the corporate psychic. So branding.

Marie Groover (03:21.045)

at least in the way that it was being taught, didn't do it for me. So I said, fuck branding. And when I got feedback about my facial expressions, I said, fuck that too. By the way, when you allow yourself to be your full self, you do radiate a unique brand and a unique experience that's all your own. And it's easy to be consistent because you, no matter how inconsistent you feel you are,

No matter how multifaceted or multidimensional you actually are, you are perfectly consistent, predictably unpredictable, constantly growing and expanding, and yet very much still you. But back to me. I work with leaders and my job is leadership enablement. And I actually really love this work because it reminds me every day that leaders are humans, just like you and I.

and they have feelings and emotions and experiences and they hold big life experiences alongside their work. And they ultimately are the best jugglers of all the important things or they all have personal assistants, which usually it's both, right? Like that's a really important part of juggling is knowing when to delegate.

It's important to say that they generally all have good intentions as well and are all good people. I have worked for very few shitty leaders despite horror stories that circulate the internet. I know there's a common thought or phrase that floats around about CEOs being sociopathic, but I'm in the room with corporate leaders almost every day and I would guess that a very, very small percentage of them are sociopathic. And I am psychic, remember?

Just kidding. So back to me again. How could someone who has so boldly been able to be herself in the workplace? Someone who has said fuck branding, fuck managing the appearance of my emotions, fuck wearing high heels, even though I do work in tech, so the dress can be kind of lax. How could someone like myself end up working in roles with such high levels of trust and responsibility?

Marie Groover (05:37.163)

Well, I think the humanist in me appealed to some of the humanists and the people who decided to hire me over teams and over time. And I do think my work is good. But why am I saying all of this? I'm saying all of this because since I have made it public, and by public I mean, sent in my official letter of resignation to my manager and to her manager and to our HR team. Since I've made it official that I'm leaving, my boldness.

has faded. Funny, huh? I am one who has strong work-life boundaries. When the waves are good, I email the team and I go surf. When I'm tired, I take breaks. I log off. When I'm not feeling it, I give myself grace and compassion. And if I need to pass off work, I do. When I'm in the groove, I allow myself to flow through it and I mostly still always log off in time for dinner or an after work adventure. My life

has truly been prioritized over my work for a solid five to six years now. And I am myself at work, my full self. On my last team, I hosted an astrology happy hour, which was a hit by the way. And I truly believe that it's both of these things, authenticity and strong boundaries that kept me from burning out and were strong contributors to my performance and my reputation, which I think is a good one.

And yet, since I have officially resigned, aka sent in my letter of resignation for July 6, 2022, I have been self-conscious as fuck. I have felt compelled to work until 8 or 9 p.m. every night. I have felt compelled to say yes to things I would never say yes to. And I felt more compelled than ever to even try to be more polished.

And I would feel guilt or shame or embarrassment when I wasn't polished or extremely on top of things. It's this weird thing that has happened where I'm suddenly so consciously aware of what it feels like to feel unsafe and like maybe I don't belong. Because suddenly I felt it. And nothing had actually changed that would validate this feeling, by the way. But recently more than ever, I felt this desire for approval from my peers.

Marie Groover (08:03.615)

approval from my co-workers, from all the people around me, which to be fair, I don't think I will ever get, nor do I need it. I don't need approval to be who I am. You don't need approval to be who you are. I don't need approval to leave my job. I don't need approval to step fully in my business. Neither do you if any of you are looking for it.

I don't need approval to like what I like and work on what I want to work on and dedicate my life to what I want to dedicate my life to and my time to, by the way. And again, neither do you. This is my whole entire point actually. For the first time in five to six years, I understand how so many of you feel when you reach out to me and say, how can I be spiritual at work? When you say, how can I be my full self? My team would never respect me.

My team would never understand. My company would outcast me. And especially when you say things like, I don't belong.

To which I will now respond much more empathically, by the way. But in the same way that I always have, which is, you do belong. You are exactly where you are for a reason. And that reason is not for you to mask your true self and conform to whoever you think you need to be. Fuck branding. Fuck putting yourself into a box. Fuck wearing heels unless you like them.

And for God's fucking sake, sit at the goddamn table. No one will ever see you as you until you show up as you. No one is ever gonna see something in you if you're not demonstrating it openly and outwardly. No one will ever ask for your input or validate your being or even invite you if you aren't already showing up in some way. So take up space, say what you're thinking.

Marie Groover (10:02.463)

If you are wrong, so fucking what? You will learn. You don't get to the top by hiding in the corner. You practice being yourself. You practice showing up. You practice sharing who you really are. And then it gets easier and then it becomes natural. And when you show up fully, as long as you are kind, respectful, well-intentioned, which maybe means that you have to share your intentions,

As long as you commit to continuing to grow as a human, aka understanding yourself, working to better communicate with others, no, not corporate speak, but learning how to speak in a way that is genuine and clear and calm and confident. You're not going to get fired. In fact, you might change the entire culture around you. You might find that you do belong and that you are actually essential. The Dalai Lama says, no one is special.

We are each and all essential. And I mean, the worst possible scenario is that you do get fired. I'm joking. So I wanna open this up. I know it's just me today talking at you and I would love for you to email me directly or reach out to me on LinkedIn or Instagram. You can reach me at hello at thecorppsychic.com and my info is in the episode description. I want you to tell me all.

of your biggest fears and showing up at work. I want you to share with me all your questions and thoughts for being authentic, for bringing the spiritual to the workplace, for sharing more of who you are with the world around you, with your home, with your family, with your friends, with your coworkers, with people you don't know, with strangers. When you go on first dates, everything. I wanna hear and I wanna support. And for the record,

This funny thing that I noticed where I felt so self-conscious and so much like I didn't belong. It went away mostly. I'm still leaving Microsoft and July 6th will still be my last day. And so I feel both like I'm gearing up to cross the finish line and wanting to finish strong. And also like I am new to the team and trying to prove my value, which by the way, your value, my value, it's inherent. It exists because we do. I'm just being real about how I feel.

Marie Groover (12:26.485)

and I'm working on it. I am again, practicing authenticity. I'm relearning how to kindly share and enforce my boundaries. I'm relearning how to be comfortable when I'm not comfortable. And I'll keep you in the loop along the way. In the meantime, have you signed up for my four week live course series yet? It's called the Quantum Leap.

And it's going down during my last four weeks of Microsoft from June 7th to July 7th, ending on my birthday because I want to go out with a bang and I want to go out with you. For more info, check the description and the episode bio and reach out with questions. We'll dive into everything from working a nine to five in integrity to running a side business in integrity and scaling the fuck out of it so that if you so choose, you can walk away from your job too.

And if not, I am celebrating you even harder because we are it all, whatever we want.

Thank you for listening to the Spiritual 9to5 podcast with myself, Marie from The Corporate Psychic. Save and follow for more wisdom. If this work resonates, please share it with someone who may connect and rate the show. Reach out with questions or topic requests. You can find me at hello at thecorppsychic.com. And don't forget to register for the Quantum Leap beginning on June 7th. Wherever you are, whatever is on your mind.

I hope to meet again, maybe in the next episode, right here. I'm honoring you, and with gratitude, good day.