nightflower

Whenever I soften

Whenever I lighten up 

in joy

Whenever I relax 

into this 

Whenever I allow my whole self to enter the room

You are triggered,

disappointed, 

angry, 

or filled 

with regret and insecurity 

about your past, 

or mine

As if we haven’t traveled the world together

As if we haven’t danced, sweat soaked and happy

As if our souls haven’t connected over a hundred delicious meals, over books and life-changing conversation

As if we haven’t traversed life’s deep and precarious crevasses while holding hands

As if we haven’t rearranged our entire lives for each other, for love

As if a living, breathing miracle doesn’t sleep between us at night

As if the goodness of us, of this, of me 

could be erased by whatever you think you can’t, or didn’t have.

And so, 

like a flower that blooms only at night, I close 

with your gaze.

censored & overwatered, I go dormant

until I can open

no more.